WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MARGINS SELF-AWARENESS SPONSOR

A Margins Self-Awareness Sponsor should have gone through the 8 Steps to Self-Awareness Program and be familiar with it. Being a sponsor does not mean that you have overcome your problems with marginality or your inner struggles; it just means that you are ready and able to share your experiences with someone else and, to do that, you need to understand the power of pain and the power you have to use your pain as an instrument to help yourself and others.

There is a portion of the population that knows pain. They saw things they cannot unsee and were hurt in ways they will never be able to forget. They are called the world’s damaged. The damaged see the world differently from those who have led more normal lives. They spend their lives looking for answers, wondering why, wondering if they deserved the short stick they drew, wondering if it was their fault.

They see everything through the lens of pain. For the damaged, pain is as much a part of them as their eyes or nose. Pain is such a distinctive part of their lives and their identity that to forget it, is to strip themselves of the strongest parts of themselves- the part that kept them alive.

They make choices according to real or anticipated pain and are driven by survival. As a result, they either live on the run or they live fighting. Running or fighting, however, don’t work forever. At some point, the damaged have to face themselves and their pain and they have to try to live instead of just survive. The way to do that is to recognize the power of pain. Just as pain gave you the courage and resourcefulness to survive, it can also be used to live.

The damaged can either resent the world and themselves and make up for their suffering by taking as much as possible even if it comes at the cost of others. They can become isolated and they can lose their trust and reliance on each other. They can sow insecurities, jealousies, and fear or, they can see their pain as a superpower; something that made them who they are, gave them survival skills beyond measure, and the capacity to understand the suffering of others in a way that those who have not experienced pain can’t.

They can see themselves in the world and know that what they give to the world they also give to themselves. They can know that, while they may not have had a hand to hold, an ear to listen, or a comforting word, they are better able to give these things to others because they know what it is to walk alone.

When they do this, they learn to live and they live in harmony with themselves and each other. They can share their time and compassion knowing that because pain digs deep, they have so much more to give. When they work towards a common end- the liberation of all humans from their psychological bondage- they work towards their own freedom and that is what being a Margins Sponsor is all about.